Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
