No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize