I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
