Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
