Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
