Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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