Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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