Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
