he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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