who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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