I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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