after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
