I bet he comes in French.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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