Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
