I have demons in me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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