Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
