Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
