have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
