goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
