and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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