sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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