just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
