you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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