why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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