I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
