biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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