no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
