Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
