If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
