Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
