i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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