He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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