made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
