Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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