bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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