i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
