let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
