Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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