i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
