Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
