Small penises have feelings too.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
