Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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