Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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