I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
