She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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