peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
