woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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