Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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