I wish i was in the wii world.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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