i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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