Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
