Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
