Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize