yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
