When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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