it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
