no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
