just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
