yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
