a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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