Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
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She's like a pop up book from hell.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
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I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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