sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
