They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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