I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
