Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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