You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
